CityWatchLA - DONE Selects New Brand: Goes Generic

CityWatch, Aug 4, 2009
Vol 7 Issue 62

In the land of "Hey! Look at me!" the Department of Neighborhood Empowerment has selected "generic" as their approach to positioning their brand.

Now referring to themselves as "The Department" and referring to the Board of Neighborhood Commissioners as "The Commission" they have selected "LA's Best Kept Secret" as a positioning theme for LA's Neighborhood Councils. So, with tongue only slightly in cheek let’s try vanilla … ●●●

Overhead on the streets of LA was the following conversation:

"Hey, I'm going to the Commission hearing. Want to join me?"

"Which Commission, the Police Commission?"

"No, THE Commission!"

"Oh, the DWP Commission!"

"No, you know, the COMMISSION!"

"Be specific, which Commission?"

"I am being specific! It's 'The Commission!'"

"You're not making sense. What is it that this Commission does?"

"Well, they oversee 'The Department.'"

"The Department of what?"

"No, it's just 'The Department!'"

"Now you're being silly!"

"No, it's simple! 'The Commission' oversees 'The Department' and that's how it works!"

"So you're telling me that 'The Commission' and 'The Department 'work together. What do they do?"

"They support LA's system of Neighborhood Councils."

"ORLY! And what are neighborhood councils?"

"Well, according to 'The Department' they're 'LA's Best Kept Secret!'"

"So let me get this straight. 'The Commission' oversees 'The Department' which supports 'The Secret' and somehow this makes sense to you."

"Yes! You've got it!"

"Wouldn't referring to neighborhood councils as 'The Secret' be an acknowledgment of failure? After all, isn't the objective of branding to communicate and connect, not to hide?"

"Ah..."

"So 'The Commission' oversees 'The Department' which supports 'The Secret' and somehow you're good with all of this?"

"Ah..."

"Well, if all of this generic silliness makes sense to you, that makes you 'The Suckah!'"

"Hey, you can't talk to me that way! I'll go to 'The Commission!'"

Repeat mercilessly until the lawyers from the estate of Abbott & Costello sue you for ruining a good joke, this time at the expense of the public!

(Stephen Box writes for CityWatch. He can be reached at Stephen@ThirdEyeCreative.net) ◘